Student and Therapist Newsletter Archive
   - Teaching family members

+ Teaching family members basic techniques? - October 06

Hey John, thanks yet again for the e-newsletter. As always, and I don't know how you do it, you've included material that prompts me to write. Usually I'm too preoccupied with matters here in SA to respond. But here is one SA real world question / comment.

Quite often in my practice I see a baby and parent(s) or grandparent or carer just once or twice. This is because of my hectic schedule and because we often don't have practitioners nearby to follow-up, or because people can't afford it.

Most of these families come into teaching clinics in courses where there is no cost. They may come from distant places, but only the once. However, I usually find that mum or dad or somebody in the family can easily learn to hold their baby in constructive ways, especially during tantrums.

They get a demo and a paper by Aletha Solter to explain this. It is also possible to show how to massage the scalp (e.g. with shampooing), how to stroke the spine and conception channels. Parents will usually respond to recommendations for dietary (chelation) and feeding / weaning problems. I have many parents / carers working very creatively with their babies, some even coming forward for training in CST, with others coming regularly (with their babies) to learn more in our local evening empowerment workshops.

This situation isn't ideal, but in the far flung communities in SA it's often all we've got. Sometimes I worry about this. One would always prefer to be in a position to follow-up with the baby and family as a whole, however long it takes.

However, I find that the whole family conflict situation often resolves with up-skilling and empowerment of the parents. It helps to break the chain of disassociative and inconsistent behaviour that the baby is adapting to within the family.

Any feedback welcome!

Al Pelowski in Joburg

>>>MY COMMENTS:

Being able to do follow up is ideal, Al. I'll talk a more about the IDEAL a little later.

It looks like you're faced with the dilemma John Upledger was faced with when he realised he couldn't treat everyone. It prompted him to develop his ShareCare program, which is the second worst idea he has had in a long line of good ones.

What was his first?

Well, calling what we do cranio sacral therapy, of course. He could have picked a hundred different names. Quirky, fun, easily pronounced, easily remembered names. Like Voltron or Gobon or Praxas or Flow.....

What I wouldn't give to be able to say I am a Flow therapist, when asked what I do for a living at a dinner party.

But oh no, I have to say I'm a cranio sacral therapist and they have to ask me if I was at the Tour De France and then I have to correct them and say, 'That's cranio SACRAL, not cranio CYCLE.'

So we're stuck with it and for the sake of public recognition we shouldn't change it or add to it or fiddle with it at all.

No matter how much we feel that what we are doing is different or visionary or resonant or balanced or biodynamic or whatever . .

All this relabelling is confusing adolescent assertions of individuality and just leaves Joe and Mary Blogs scratching their heads wondering, 'What the?'

Okay, back to shades of ShareCare.

While imparting new information and different perspectives is definitely part of our job, it's important to acknowledge the limits of just how much skill you can impart to parents or family members.

The sorts of things you have described sound good and practical. Massaging the scalp, stroking the spine and conception channels. All good.

The temptation is to think you can build on this by teaching family members to do simple techniques which I'm strongly against, if you hadn't noticed, and here's why.

What has become second nature to you in terms of holding, following, supporting and so on has taken you years to achieve.

And while the process of gaining mastery in CST is one of realising how little needs to be done, it's important to remember that it's a very informed and focused 'little' that we do. Its simplicity is deceptively complex.

When you think about how long it has taken you to gain the level of skill with a particular technique and all the subtle nuances that only reveal themselves through time and practice, it doesn't make sense that you can show someone a technique and think that they will be able to do any long lasting good with it.

Sure, everyone will feel good about it.

The family member will feel good when you're showing them the technique because it will feel like they're being empowered.

You will feel good when you're showing them the techniques because it will assuage the aching knowledge that you can't treat the person yourself
long term.

The person will feel good every time the family member does the technique. They will feel good for about ten minutes or maybe twenty but the chances of it helping long term are slim.

It takes a long time to learn how to do this well for a reason.

It's not easy to master.

The whole SharCare idea is like giving a one-day workshop for the friends and families of virtuoso violinists. At the workshop they learn how to play a couple of notes on the fiddle.

They can use these 'new skills' on the nights that the virtuoso is a bit tired and needs someone to fill in the for them at certain times throughout the performance. The family member can play the notes the virtuoso is too shagged to play.

Ridiculous, right? But it gets worse.

Giving friends and family of patients the idea that they can learn a few techniques that will help their loved ones, generates the idea that what we do, can be learned in 10 minutes.

It's shooting yourself in the foot with both barrels and then bludgeoning yourself with the gun..

I don't think you are about to launch your own South African ShareCare program Al, but I do understand the pressure that the kinds of situations you have described can generate.

Considering what you have to deal with and the constraints you have to work within, the fact that you give these families ANYTHING to help their situation is nothing short of a bloody miracle!

And you're not alone in that, your students and graduates are doing remarkable things too. The outreach work you all do. The education programs you have set up. It's brilliant. You are all doing excellent work in VERY difficult situations.

What I've talked about above is the IDEAL, what you have to work with in South Africa is far from ideal and in that, anything you can do is great.

I commend all the people involved in cranial work in South Africa and you in particular Al.

Top

Become your own Wellness Detective